I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
