i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
