i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
