if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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