yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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