Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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