dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
