Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
