i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
