One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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