Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
