Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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