I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
