You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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