You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How naked do you want me to be?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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