just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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