i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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