well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
40s are totally the cure
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
