Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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