There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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