you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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