used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
