I look better un-naked...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
