Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
