I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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