No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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