Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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