just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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