i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
