His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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