My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just want nice things and good sex
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
