I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
