You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
