9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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