I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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