don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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