my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
