Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
