Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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