I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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