But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
