i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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