i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
