the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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