God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
