I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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