I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
