Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
