It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
