please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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