Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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